Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
A group of three middle-school age boys were walking the opposite direction while my boyfriend and I were walking back from the grocery store. One boy yelled “Hey I’ll trade you for your girl” while another yelled “ow ow”. The third one then yelled “TITS!” I had enough at that point and turned around and said, “Excuse me???” One boy immediately ran away, but the other two just stood still looking dumbfounded that I had responded to them about it. My boyfriend said, “Hey c’mon guys. Why would you say something like that? You know better than that. It’s not a cool thing to do.” The two boys seemed embarrassed and apologized. I really hope that being confronted and called out actually gave them a wake-up call and that they talk to their third friend about what happened. It’s ridiculous that I have to listen to boys who are less than half my age yell vulgar things at me on the street as if they have rights on my body.
Got on the bus with my mom, the bus driver kept staring at me instead of watching my mom out the correct change in the dispenser. When I walk past he says “Miss, you didn’t put the money in” (something to that degree), I told him I’m with “her” and pointed to my mom. My mom told him that he payed for both of us. Then the bus driver said “Sit down.”, “Don’t get loud” and some other cruel things that I don’t remember. Before sitting down I said “You should focus on driving instead of talking.” When we got off the bus I said “Thanks asshole that talks down to women.” Then I got off. For a few minutes he waited for me to pass with the bus door open to say something back.
It was 3pm and I had just exited from my work and was walking down Broad towards Montgomery to go home. Just before I reached the intersection, not 50 feet away from the front door of the building I had just exited, I heard it. “Hey, baby! You be lookin fine!” Then his friend joined in. “Awh yeah, I’d like me some of that! You are just too hot! Mm!”
This isn’t an uncommon occurrence. Usually, I just let it go. In fact, I planned on just ignoring them. But they didn’t stop. So I turned around and asked them, “What makes you think I want to hear that?”
The first man came up and said, while looking me up and down, “Well I just wanted to let you know that you’re beautiful! You’re very, very fine.” His friend chimed in, agreeing.
I then countered with, “But I am not just here for you to comment on. This is my body and I would prefer if you did not comment on it. I feel incredibly uncomfortable when you say things like that. It is disrespectful and rude.”
The first guy actually engaged in a conversation with me and seemed to genuinely grasp the concept; he apologized. His friend, however, was not so understanding. He went on to say, “Well you gotta expect that. That’s just what men do. When we see something we like, we’ll say it. You’re gonna get that everywhere you go. You gotta get used to it.”
I responded with. “I have to get used to it? I should absolutely not have to get used to it. It is degrading, disrespectful and rude.” At that point, I turned to walk away. The first guy said goodbye and apologized again, but his friend continued to yell after me, “If you don’t like it, get out of Philadelphia! F*** you! Yeah, bitch, F*** YOU!”
At that point, I just crossed the street and waited for the light to change. I felt incredibly empowered by what I did, but I can’t help but imagine if it had happened at night. All I know is I’m going to carry some pepper spray with me on a regular basis, now!
I was walking down my driveway in the morning when a construction worker (so stereotypical) at a site across the street wolf whistled at me. I felt unsafe in my own front yard. We were the only two outside on my street and he could have tried anything, I had no way to defend myself.no comments
Guy leaning out of his car whistled at me and catcalled me. While I was getting gas. In my car.
While I was waiting to cross the highway, a man pulled up in the turn lane next to me. He had a woman and two children in the car, yet he still yelled out the window, “hey you are looking real cute today” before the light changed.
Several construction workers whistled and screamed at me on my walk home yesterday.
I don’t think this counts as stalking, but others might disagree. Anyway, I’m powerwalking to somewhere in the mall, earbuds in, and this guy (prolly 40s) follows me through the doors and is saying “hey” to me. I’m just so tired so I turn to him and say “can I help you?”
Him: What’s your name?
Him: I see you on my way to work and I think you’re beautiful!
Me: (I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was in a hurry) *real name*. My name is *real name*.
Him: My name’s (blabla)
Me: Okay. *stares*
Him: … Are you single?
Me: No. Engaged.
Him: Darn, the pretty ones are always taken!
Me: K. *walks away*
Why did he think he had a right to my name? Why was I dumb enough to give it? Why was he powerwalking next to me when it was clear I had somewhere to go?
I’ve dealt with this guy twice. I tried to just block it from memory, so the order of events might be mixed up. I think this is right, though.
It’s January or February, I think a weekday. I got off work and I’m waiting for the 70 at like, 9-10 PM. This older guy, probably in his 50s or 60s starts talking to me. Naturally, my earbuds are in, meaning “fuck off, I’m busy.” He “compliments” me on my appearance, even though I’m just wearing a polo and jeans (really? Your standards are THAT low?). I go “uh-huh” and go back to my music. He KEEPS TALKING to me, trying to get me to sympathize with him about his lack of work; “should I go back to work? Gosh, I don’t know…” Bro, really, just ask someone you know. Or a shrink. Damn. So, since there’s no end in sight, I decide to fuck with him and weird him out to get him to leave me alone. I talk about how the space-time continuum is non-linear, and that time, like a rubberband, can snap back on itself, etc. etc. Unfortunately, the mofo’s FASCINATED. So I peace out and get on the bus, as does he, and thankfully I’m not bothered… Until a month or so later.
Same bat guy, same bat place, same bat time of night. He says “damn, gorgeous, are you for me?” Or something. I go “ahahaha… No…” Still with my earbuds. Do they never learn? So, he recognizes me, “compliments” my beauty again. He continues to try to talk to me. We get on the bus, and when I make a fake call to someone on my iPhone, he starts punching the seat in front of him to get attention from me. Seriously. I’m in the back of the bus, and he’s on the opposite side of the aisle (about 3 feet away), PUNCHING THE SEAT. I do this the whole ride until he gets off. I shouldn’t have to attempt to weird people out or make fake calls to not be bothered by some wackjob.
On the 64 bus a man moved next to me. He said he was Patrick and if I’d talk to him. I told him I didn’t wanna talk as I was reading. He still kept talking to me and wanted to get my full name and Facebook. I told him that was private and I do not give my Facebook out, but he kept asking and was annoyed I wouldn’t tell him. He began to grab my hand and I said stop. He asked if I was single and I said no, I live with my SO (truth). He still kept asking for my name and info until his stop.