Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Columbia MO, Des Moines, Fredericksburgh VA, Jacksonville NC, Los Angeles, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Palo Alto, Portland ME, Richmond VA, Rutgers University, San Francisco
I had just adopted a dog and was house training her so we went on frequent walks around where my apartment area. I would pass this creepy guy who would say ‘hi, pretty girl’ to me all the time while licking his lips at me in the MOST disgusting way! I mostly had my headphones on so I would just ignore the idiot and keep walking. (I am used to having to ignore these hormonal morons on the street as I walk everywhere in the city and feel like I have no choice.) I typically walk fast when I walk my dog or else she pulls on the leash. Many times he tried to get me to stop and talk to him which was not on my agenda and I would simply keep walking, not looking back even though I could hear him yelling at me. Several times after this I took different routes to avoid the guy, but he was just across an alley way from my apartment building so it was hard to avoid him at times.
Clearly whatever sick fascination he had of me was not going to stop so my armed security guard from my apt building was nice enough to walk part way with me passed him to show I had people who could protect me if needed. Apparently, this made him jealous. The next time I walked passed him I had my headphones on and had turned the music up to avoid hearing him. He was screaming and yelling at me and I was actually able to hear him over my music calling me a ‘bitch’ ‘ugly bitch’ saying ‘who do you think you are’ ‘how dare you’, etc. The ramblings of a delusional psycho. I ignored him and didn’t even look behind me when I all of a sudden was pushed really hard on the ground and then pulled up by the back of my shirt which was a tank top. I turned trying to hold onto my dogs leash at the same time and saw the psycho. He was attacking me!! My dog was barking but I knew she wouldn’t bite him. Even though he had a firm grip on my upper arm I turned and we started running. My spaghetti strap on my tank top and my bra strap ripped. I don’t even recall what he was yelling in my face because the only thing on my mind was to GET AWAY. I ran and kept looking back then called my security guard who came out and said he was no where in sight and walked me home. We called the police and reported it. It took them 30 minutes to get there. My security guard said he had not seen the guy outside in weeks.
They finally tracked him down and it took them about 3 months to set a court date just so that I could have an order of protection against this lunatic which only lasts one year. I plan to renew it. The judge yelled at him in court saying “This girl is not your wife, your mother, your girlfriend, or anything to you!- and even if she was how dare you treat another human being with such utter disrespect! You don’t touch people on the street! What’s wrong with you??” Street harassment in Philadelphia is a HUGE issue and it ranges from construction workers to employees standing outside having a smoke break to groups of men and even to cars passing by with only a few guys in it. Why on earth do they think it is ok and appropriate to yell and do disgusting things to women and girls!!!!????
I am being stalked via email text phone calls. I’m scared this guy may harm me or rape me.
I’m standing in line at the coffee shop when this man bellows “Id like to smell her seat.” He is sitting in the corner with a group of men ranging in age from 30 to 60. Initially I was incredulous that an adult male would say something so juvenile I expect that kind of behavior from a teenager. I contemplated walking over to them and asking if they thought that was appropriate behavior and would they appreciate it if a man made that rude comment to their mother, wife, daughter.
Instead I got my coffee and left. I couldn’t bring myself to dignify his disgusting behavior with a response.
Was walking past the Walgreens to our parked car with husband. A group of 4 people including a man with a can were assembled there on the sidewalk. One of the men steps out in front of us and shouts ‘Merry Christmas’ etc.. we say thank you and keep walking and one of the other persons in the group called me a bitch.
I recently saw a post on body image and thought I’d share. I took the bus when I went to school at DCCC and that morning just got off and went to the bathroom. It was windy that day and I had on hair extensions that got pretty messed up and I needed to fix it. As I was brushing my hair the driver of the bus I just got off left the stall and proceeded to the sinks to wash her hands. I was standing next to the towel dispenser and as she walked over to it, she stopped behind me and eyeballed me up and down with a disgusted look on her face. She then goes “Your hair is really tangly.” Self conscious about it as I was in the first place, this made it 10x worse. I was angry at her immediately and said “Excuse me, that was really fucking rude.” She got her towel and said “And you’re vain,so I don’t know why you’re talking.” as she was walking out of the door. I didn’t realize there was another girl at the sinks who also witnessed the whole thing. When I turned around she looked appalled. She told me that she had just gotten off the same bus and was going to call Septa to report this. Needless to say, I never saw the driver again after that day.
It was about a few years ago. My dad used Calvin Klein cologne and would get free overnight bags with them. He gave some to me to use while I go back and forth from school and my mother’s house. I took the El from Suburban Station after making sure my friend got her train to New York safely one morning. I was on my way to my mother’s house and had just gotten off the El at the 69th Street Terminal. This young man walks next to me and says “Ya’ll like him?” pointing to my Calvin Klein bag. I have my ear buds in but no music playing and act like I didn’t hear him. He persists. “Hey miss, can I carry your bag?” At this point, I’m thinking “Does he really think I’m THAT stupid?” and kind of mentally laughing at his stupidity. I’m walking up the stairs to get to the main concourse and he keeps following and repeating “Miss, can I carry your bag for you?” Then he tries a more aggressive approach, trying to pry it out of my hands. When he tried this, I jerked my arm, brushing him off. This seemed to get him off me, but after this incident, I take Regional Rail and refuse to get on the El without a group of friends with me.
I work in center city and was walking from my office to suburban station, just trying to get home as quickly as I could on a cold December day, when, in the span of 5 minutes, I was verbally assaulted TWICE by two completely distinct groups of men. First, a Coca-Cola delivery truck drove past me, and the driver started honking. I looked over (thinking that there was something in the road in front of his truck) and I see him pointing at me and trying to get my attention. Then, he does the “v” hand signal (one finger on either side of his mouth, tongue wagging) at me and yells something about how I should let him put his head between my thighs. My first impulse was to give him the finger, but I felt scared. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I just started feeling very alert and frightened. I rarely walk alone, so I’d sort of forgotten what that feels like.
I continued walking, thinking about what a crappy experience that was, when I pass a homeless man I’ve never seen before sitting on the sidewalk. He asked me if I had any food, and I told him no. As I’m passing him, he stands up and run-walks to catch up with me. He gets really close to me (so close I could smell alcohol on his breath) and starts loudly whispering to me that I’m a “little white slut” who “needs a black dick to teach me a lesson.” I couldn’t believe what was happening and I felt really vulnerable. I just walked faster hoping that he’d go away. Then, two businessmen were walking towards us, and he immediately crossed the street away from me when they reached us.
As I rode the train home I couldn’t stop thinking how that situation might have been very different if it had been later at night, dark out, and relatively empty. I’m not sure if that man would have actually tried to do something to me, but I felt very afraid. I’m never letting that happen to me again without me responding calmly and cooly and telling the person that it’s not acceptable and that I don’t want them to speak to me. I’m also thinking about starting to carry pepper spray in my handbag.
Twice in the past month I’ve been harassed by cab drivers.
The first time I was with my girlfriend, and the driver kept saying he’d give us a deal on our fare because we were two beautiful girls. He kept going on about how women love him and how he was doing us such a favor by doing his job. He even made some homophobic comments which leads me to believe he had no idea we were together, and who knows what he would have said if he had known. Obviously we didn’t mention it.
The second time, I was alone, it was late, I was tired, I just needed a quick ride. The driver called me beautiful girl, pretty lady, multiple times, while still talking to someone on his phone. Call me crazy but I don’t find managing multiple distractions while driving too alluring.
While the harassment in these two situations may not have been the worst, the fact that these two men were literally in the driver’s seat of the situation is what makes them so alarming to me. They had total control over the situation, I couldn’t walk away. Thankfully they took me to my destination, but they could have taken me anywhere.
I’m walking south on Broad tonight, on my usual 20-minute walk home from work. It’s 5:30 and it’s already dark out. Typically I take the subway when it’s dark, but since it’s so early, I don’t expect anything too crazy to happen. Plus I’m thoroughly bundled – got my long coat on, with my hood pulled up over my hat – so nobody can see enough of me to want to engage in any interaction. Right?
Oh, except my ass is swaying in the most tantalizing way under my coat.
So you roll up behind me on your bike and give me a firm WHACK. Not hard enough to knock me over, but hard enough that I can still feel it an hour later. You don’t say anything, and neither do I, because I’m too disoriented to come up with anything good. I’m too mad to even describe my anger, but I know how angry I am by all the violence I wish upon you as I watch you ride away.
You’re bundled up too, so I don’t know anything about you, except that you ride a bike and grab strangers’ asses. And your disregard for my sense of personal safety helps me understand why our neighbors are so ready to kill one another.
Everyday on my way to work I walk past the same cart that sells umbrellas, hats, water bottles, and other miscellaneous items. A little over a year ago, the man who owns that cart said, “Good morning!” with a smile, and I made the mistake of smiling back a “Good morning” of my own. Immediately, he took two large strides, got right behind me, so close I felt his breath on my neck as he said, quickly, with almost no pause between the words, “I love you I love you I love you beautiful lady.” I still feel his breath on my neck on the days he looks at me as I walk past him.
This past Tuesday morning, I was walking to work behind a man wearing headphones as we both walked past this man and his cart. He said nothing to that man in front of me, but as I approached, he said, “Good morning. You’re beautiful. Second beautiful woman this morning.” I wasn’t looking at him, I didn’t slow to talk to him, and I did nothing to intimate to him I had any interest in talking to him. He clearly didn’t care, as he was intrusive about valuing my body, and letting me know he’s comparing me to all the women who walk past him, and letting me, a total stranger who gives zero fucks about his opinion of my appearance, know where I fall into that comparison. It might seem innocuous, but who knows what he would have done had I responded, given his behavior last time I made eye contact with him? And, who knows how it would affect my body image or self-esteem knowing that STRANGERS are comparing me to OTHER STRANGERS, and telling me about it like I should care AT ALL about what he thinks.
As I kept walking past him, now totally pissed off, I noticed again the man with the headphones in both ears. If only I could drown out the world, and not hear the harassment – but then, I wouldn’t feel safe not being able to hear if people were approaching me from outside my peripheral vision.
It must be nice, feeling safe enough to wear headphones and listen to your favorite beats as you walk down the street without a care in the world! And, how unfair that I resent you for your luxury of just walking down the street listening to music through headphones!